Saturday 7 February 2009

The Trial of Simone ©Kenny Wisdom 2009

Simone – A smartly dressed woman of about 30.
David – A suited man of about 40.

A waiting room. Two doors stand either side of the back wall. They each bear a sign, one for “Gents” and the other for “Ladies”. There are wooden benches. There is a waste paper bin. There is a clock on the back wall, between the two doors. It is set at 08.42. (It keeps good time). There is a notice board beneath the clock with a timetable and a poster warning that “Thieves operate in this area” pinned to it. There are other notices typical of a train station pinned to the board. A loud speaker sits above each toilet door. The entrance is stage left through a glass-panelled door.

Simone sits in the waiting room with her back to the entrance, on the middle bench, with a portfolio and a camera on her lap and a coat by her side. She is fidgeting. Standing opposite her is a small, unattended suitcase on wheels, and a newspaper on the bench. She takes a picture of it with her camera. The toilet flushes. 10 seconds later David enters through the Gents toilet door and sits opposite Simone. He removes his coat. He moves the suitcase towards him. Simone sits stilly, avoiding his gaze.

Dave (Coughs) Pardon me.


(Stifling a yawn) Terrible weather.

Simone (Without looking) Mmm.

Dave You got far to go?

Simone London.

Dave Me too.

(Pause. A station announcement is heard on the tannoy. It is completely inaudible).

Dave Did you hear that? What was that? I didn’t get any of that.

Simone No. I couldn’t hear it.

Dave Never can. Half the time you can’t understand the accent even if you can hear it.

Simone Mmm…

(Pause)

Dave You a photographer or something, then?

Simone Yes. Something like that.

Dave Those your pictures? Can I have a look? I’m quite keen myself. Well, you know, on holidays and stuff. Not professional but I’ve got a good eye for that kind of thing. I obviously don’t develop my own photos. Well, no need is there? You can just run them down to Boots these days and do them digitally down there in one of those machines. You know what I mean?

Simone Yes. But, no. I mean, yes these are pictures and I know what you mean but these aren’t really pictures for showing.

Dave Huh? What’s the point of that then? I don’t get it.

Simone I have to go. My train will be here in a minute.

Dave Oh. My train too, then.

(They both rise to leave, putting on their coats. Dave picks up his suitcase. Simone exits, holding the door open for Dave. He exits. There is a long pause. Simone returns. She’s talking into a mobile ‘phone.)

Simone “They didn’t say. I don’t know…oh, you know this lot…wrong leaves on the track probably. It’s this bad weather.

(She removes her coat)

Look, I’m not happy about it either. If I could change it, I would, don’t you think I’d do that? They’re sending for some buses. We have to finish the journey in buses. They said in about an hour, though.

(Dave returns, dragging his case behind him. He speaks on a mobile ‘phone as well.)

Dave If you need to, start without me and I’ll be there as soon as – I can set my presentation up during coffee if I need to. There’s going to be a comfort break at some point, I’m sure.

(He removes his coat)

Yes it is bloody inconvenient but there’s not much I can do. I’ll see you later.

(Call ends).

That wasn’t part of the plan! There was nothing on the Net this morning when I looked.

Simone No.

Dave That’s going to put me behind schedule. How about you?

Simone I could have done without it.

Dave Suppose we’ll just have to grin and bear it. Looks like we’re here for the long haul!

Simone It seems we have little choice.

(Dave looks at Simone for a moment then gives up trying to converse. He picks up the newspaper and shuffles the pages, folding the paper over. He starts to do the crossword. Simone plays with her mobile ‘phone.)

Dave (Softly) Five across. Five letters. Indeterminate. Second letter “A”. Ends in “E”.

Simone Vague.

Dave Pardon?

Simone The answer. It’s “V-A-G-U-E”. Vague.

Dave Ha! Thanks! That fits…seven down is “Guilt”, then. Culpability. That’s guilt, isn’t it?

Simone Yes, if you’re that way inclined.

Dave That way?

Simone It was a joke. I meant, if you have a guilty conscience. Then yes, you’d be inclined to think that way. It doesn’t matter. It could have been “Responsibility”, that’s another meaning for the same word. That’s all I meant. You choose the word you most associate with, to begin with, in crosswords.

Dave Do spare me the therapy lesson, but it couldn’t be that, could it? It doesn’t start with a “G” and it was only five letters long.

Simone Fine. Forget I said it. I’ll keep quiet until you get a seven-letter word then!

(Dave continues his puzzle in silence, while Simone sends a text message. Dave ruffles his newspaper, disturbing Simone. He looks up and meets her gaze. He smiles, embarrassed; she does not smile back.)

Simone Reached a seven-letter word?

Dave Yeah

(Pause)


"To punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure”. Seven letters, fourth letter is a T, so it must be beating. Yes! Beating! Never mind, I’ve got it.

(Dave smiles, triumphantly.)

Mind you, when I was a kid, a smack on the backside never did me any harm. When I was bad, my mum put me in my place and I knew I was wrong. These days not even an ASBO can keep kids in line. Kids just run riot these days.

Simone It’s not “beating”.

Dave Sorry, what?

Simone The word you are looking for, it’s not “beating”.

Dave Yes it is, it’s got seven letters and the fourth letter is a T. It fits.

Simone Ok then, you know best. So, when you were a boy and you were bad, your mum smacked you?

Dave Yes, and when I had been really bad she waited for my dad to come home, and that was no fun, I tell you. Taught me discipline though. That’s what kids lack these days. Discipline.

Simone You got kids yourself?

Dave Yeah, I’ve got two.

(He tries to return to his paper)

Simone Yes? …. And do they have names?

Dave (Pause)

Colin and Suzanne.

(He turns away, slightly)

Simone A boy and a girl … how old are they?

Dave (Pause)

Colin is twelve now and Suzanne is nine.

Simone And are they ever bad?

Dave Well, you know, all kids get into trouble, that’s what they’re kids for, right?

(Dave laughs)

Simone And when they are bad, do you smack them?

Dave No.

(He picks up the newspaper)

Simone I don’t understand that. Just a minute ago you said kids need discipline, but your own kids are the exception to that rule? Figures.

Dave (Softly)

No it doesn’t. My kids don’t live with me –

Simone Sorry?

Dave My kids don’t live with me. They live with their mother.

Simone I see, but then you have them on weekends, right?

Dave No, I don’t. We’re divorced - she moved to Australia and I haven’t seen my kids since.

Simone I bet you must miss them?

Dave I do. I’ve got a few photos in my wallet. All I have left. That and the odd phone call, now and then.

(Dave takes out his wallet and looks inside, at the photos of his kids, for a long time. He looks up at Simone again.)

Want to see?

(He holds out his wallet to her. Simone looks at the wallet but waits a moment before taking it. Then she takes it and looks at the photos.)

Simone That’s the beauty of photography; it preserves memories. Good memories and bad memories. Cute kids by the way.

(She hands back the wallet. Dave looks again at the photos and then puts the wallet away in his jacket pocket.)

Dave Thanks. They mean the world to me. I’d do anything to have them back, here with me. I made a terrible mistake.

Simone Really? What?

Dave Letting them go. I know it sounds silly now, but I didn’t feel I had a choice, not then, anyway. She made it sound like they had nothing here, with everything they could ever need on the other side of the world…well, I wasn’t thinking straight as it was…it was a rough time we’d been through.

Simone I didn’t think you could do that – take kids away, overseas?

Dave I signed the consent forms.

Simone You did? What about access?

Dave I thought about that. She said she’d sort it…well, her and, you know, her new partner. They were supposed to pay for the flights, bring the kids over because they can’t travel alone yet – she promised, but then it was all, “Oh, we’ve just got them settled in school” and “Suzanne just started riding lessons, you know it’s the summer here?” and then one year became two -

(Beat)

I feel like I’m becoming a stranger…to my own family…my kids. They started calling him “Daddy”, you know. Suzanne let it slip.

(Beat)

It just came out, like it was normal. “Daddy’s lighting the barbecue,” she said. Barbecue – in December. We sit here shivering and they’re down on the beach waiting for Santa on a jet ski and she hits me with that. I felt…

Simone What? Useless? Betrayed? She’s just a kid…

Dave I know…I don’t blame her – it’s our mess…I just felt…forgotten. When I talk to them, it’s like they’re forgetting who I am and I’m missing so much. Kids that age – they change so quickly, don’t they? One minute leaping in your arms for a hug and the next they’re too cool for all that – they’d rather be with their mates. That comes around soon enough and I’m not even getting to see that, am I?

Simone Why don’t you go out there then? It’s not just a one-way street, is it? You could travel there, couldn’t you?

Dave It’s expensive.

Simone But worth it, surely?

Dave Of course it is. No question. I just haven’t got much money at the moment. I wasn’t working for a while. Things got rocky. It’s partly what we…started to argue about. Things went a bit quiet at work…well they did, didn’t they, after 9-11? We didn’t see it coming, not at first. Started with our expenses – Management taking a closer look at them, cutting back, telling us to find cheaper hotels, reducing our budgets - should have seen it coming I suppose, but you keep telling yourself it’s just a bad month, things will pick up…

Simone What was it you did?

Dave (Pause)

Packet mixes, dried goods, that type of thing. I sold to the Middle East. Cake mixes – just add water, you know? I sold cakes to the Arabs.

Simone You’ve been to the Middle East?

Dave Yes, I have. When I first joined, that market was really opening up. They loved it. We were one of the first in there. Everything was going fantastically, and then 9-11 happened, and it all changed. I guess people didn’t want the West in a packet anymore. The order books started getting thinner. The atmosphere changed, you know?

Simone Hostile?

Dave Yes, in a way. Those people are extremely generous. You visit them at home, there’s tea and all kinds of sweets, and you can’t refuse - that’s considered rude! Sometimes there’s an entire meal. Then it changed. It just wasn’t so safe moving around and then we were advised to hire security and it all started to go downhill, the cost of that combined with the cancelled orders.

Simone The Company went bankrupt?

Dave No, not that, we just lost too much of the market. I was made redundant and we’d just bought a house. I was the breadwinner since my wife was of the opinion that a mother needs to stay home with her kids before they become social deviants…

Simone Sounds like you don’t necessarily agree with that?

Dave Any kid can end screwed up. All I know is that it would have made a hell of a difference to my marriage if she’d got a job to bring in some cash. As it was, I didn’t have the guts to tell her.

Simone Excuse me? You didn’t tell your wife you got fired? How did you get away with that?

Dave I didn’t in the end, did I? I lost it all. I hung on for as long as I could. Left the house every morning and came back at the normal time.

Simone Jesus! What did you do all day? Sit in the park?

Dave Sometimes, when the weather was good. You’d think it would be easy to spend hours in London, but it was hell. I was so terrified of running into somebody I knew that I was on edge all day. Look, you don’t need me boring you with all this –

Simone Not at all. Other people’s lives fascinate me. I’m a bit of a voyeur in that sense. Carry on.

Dave Where was I? Oh, yes…so that was stressing me out, trying to pass the time until it was time to go home again. Sometimes I pretended to go on business trips, like I used to do. I’d just find the cheapest hotel I could down on the coast. That was depressing, but in a way it was relaxing too. Does that make sense?

Simone I think I can understand that.

Dave But of course it all cost money and it got to me in the end… I mean … Torquay, in November - damp on the wallpaper - money I didn’t have. I’d been dipping into our savings account for a couple of months, as it was. I didn’t see a way out, and when I was home I don’t suppose I was much fun to be around. My wife kept nagging and we kept fighting and in the end we just fell apart and then it all came out. So that was the end of the marriage. She said I was a coward for not telling her. Obviously I was never to be trusted again. “Just like all men” she said. Do you think men can’t be trusted?

Simone (Pause)

If I was being kind I’d say that men sometimes appear to have a different view of reality than women.

Dave And if you were to be unkind?

Simone I’ll be unkind later.

Dave (Thinking)

She moved back in with her mum and took the kids with her – my name was mud, of course – and then she met her new bloke while on a night out. She couldn’t get a job in the daytime - but it is all right for her to be out at night? As it turned out this bloke had an uncle in Australia that needed help with his business, and next thing she ups-sticks and leaves. I had to sell the house and I end up in a bed-sit.

Simone You said it would have made a difference if your wife had a job, but you didn’t tell her the truth about losing your job? Do you think you deserved to be trusted? It seems clear to me that –

Dave It does, does it? I guess for you it’s all black and white then? I am not proud of what I did. If I could turn the clock back I’d do things differently, of course I would. But you weren’t there so you don’t know what it was like – no one does, until it happens. Things just happened, they spiralled out of control. It started with a lie – a little white lie – I didn’t know it would go on so long. I was going to get another job – tell her then. Tell her I’d been looking around, that this would be good for my career – she didn’t need to know I’d lost my job and have all that worry. It wasn’t about trust then was it? I was doing it for love. I wanted to protect them, all of them. Get things back on track, just tighten my belt a little bit, and move on. I thought I’d just walk into a job; start doing what I’m best at. Sales – it’s in my blood. I get off on the buzz, the whole “schmooze”. Setting up the deal, pushing and prodding until it’s closed. Anticipating the next move, being ready for it. If you know what’s coming next you can’t get caught out –

(Simone stifles a giggle)

Hey, what’s so funny?

Simone I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you, honestly. It’s just something you said.

Dave What?

Simone About the lies

Dave What of them?

Simone The whole thing. The Middle East. Iraq. It all started with a lie, didn’t it?

Dave Yes…but they sold it to us, didn’t they?

Simone And we bought it.

Dave A funny thing, though. Not Iraq…that’s different. What I did. You know, I really wasn’t trying to deceive anyone. Things just took a turn for the worse. Do you see that? Is it clearer now?

Simone I see it. I know what you’re saying. It’s just, well, in hindsight, wouldn’t it have been better to tell the truth earlier rather than later? No one seems to have the guts to do that these days, do they? I don’t mean to say I think you’re a dishonest man – what’s your name? I don’t think I caught it?

Dave David. I prefer Dave though. And you?

Simone (Laughing)

I prefer Dave too.

Dave No I meant –

Simone I know! I’m Simone.

Dave I like that. Pretty name.

Simone It means, “She heard” in Hebrew. I’m a good listener. I like to people watch – anyway, what was I saying?

Dave I’m not a dishonest man –

Simone That’s right. I mean I doubt you set out to be deceptive, but once you knew, you could have avoided a whole heap of trouble, surely? Is that a fair comment?

Dave In retrospect, it is. But then I suppose, looking back, I’d do so many things differently. No point in living a life of regrets is there? I spent long enough feeling sorry for myself as it is, until I got myself back on my feet again.

(The station tannoy crackles. It whines with feedback, then pops. Rock N roll music plays for a few seconds. The speakers whine before falling silent again. Dave looks up at the speakers. Simone does not react)

Dave Huh? You’d think they’re trying to make us feel comfortable, or something. I suppose that means we are in for a long wait. Some light entertainment wouldn’t hurt.

Simone We’ll just have to provide our own entertainment, won’t we, so we don’t go nuts? I don’t think I ever saw such a stimulus free room like this one.

Dave A what room?

Simone A stimulus free room. You know, a room with nothing to do, nothing to see, nothing to hear. Like in a prison cell. Ever been inside a prison?

Dave No, I can’t say I have. I didn’t sink that low you know.

Simone I don’t know if people in prisons have necessarily sunk low, per se. Each person has his or her own story. Sometimes it’s just a lack of insight that causes them to make the wrong choices.

Dave Well, as far as I’m concerned people that end up in prison are criminals who broke the law and got what they deserved. If you can’t do the time…don’t do the…

Simone Now that’s what I call black and white thinking. So you see, we’re all guilty of that.

Dave Do you honestly think that our prisons are filled with innocent people? “Victims” of society? Sorry - I really think that’s very naive.

Simone Okay, maybe we should let that discussion rest for a bit. You said you got yourself back on your feet again?

Dave Yes, I did. Found another job, no perks like the old job, but still. An income. Then I found a place to live in rented accommodation. At least now I feel sort of like a useful member of society again.

Simone And a new girlfriend?

Dave No. In fact, I’ll be thinking twice before entering into another commitment like marriage. You plan your life, sort of, as well as you can really, and somebody else can just take everything away from you. I’m in no rush to fall into that trap again. You don’t really trust men, do you? Well, maybe you didn’t say it quite like that but I bet you learned it the hard way. Am I right?

Simone (Pause)

Things learned the hard way are often best remembered.

Dave That’s a nice generalisation, but very evasive, Simone. Am I the only one being interrogated here? In this … what was it again … stimulus free prison cell?

(The tannoy pops again and the lights flicker. A fragment of Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen is audible for a few seconds).

Simone Excuse me a moment.

(She picks up her handbag and goes into the ladies room).

Dave Slippery eel, that one.

(Dave sits. His gaze falls on Simone’s portfolio He hesitates then checks around him. He opens the portfolio and looks at some photos.)

Bloody hell!!

(The toilet flushes. He closes the portfolio. He returns to his seat, as Simone enters. She holds a toilet chain in her hand. She notices the portfolio has been moved but says nothing).

Simone No news?

Dave News?

Simone News on the delay.

Dave No, no news. All’s quiet on the Western front.

(Laughs nervously)

Did you break the chain or something?

Simone Something like that. It’s better to not leave pieces of chain lying around unattended for someone to hurt themselves on.

(Simone puts the chain in her handbag).

Dave I’m beginning to think there’s no one else here but us. Do you think we’ve been forgotten?

Simone I wouldn’t put anything past them. I’m sure we haven’t been. Go and get yourself a cup of tea if you’re that bothered. Ask someone what’s going on.

Dave I couldn’t drink that swill! Still, that’s not a bad idea. It won’t hurt to chase them up, find out what’s going on. Can I get you anything? A drink? Sandwich? Anything?

Simone Coffee would be good. Black, no sugar, please.

Dave ‘Cos you’re sweet enough already! No worries. My treat. Sure you don’t want anything to eat?

(Simone rolls her eyes)

Simone No thanks. A coffee will be fine.

Dave Okay. Be back in a mo.

(Dave puts on his coat)

Will you keep an eye on my stuff?

Simone Of course! It’s not like it’s going anywhere though.

Dave (Laughs)

I suppose you’re right. Still, can’t be too careful.

(He points at the “thieves” poster on the notice board)

Two coffees it is then, coming right up.

Simone Okay.

(Dave exits. Simone waits for him to leave then picks up her portfolio agitatedly. She flicks through it then snaps it shut. She is annoyed. A few more moments pass and Dave returns, empty-handed)

Dave That just takes the bloody piss! The cafĂ© is shut. What’s more – I couldn’t find anyone around. Not even in the ticket office. That’s shut as well. There’s a sign up, that’s all.

(Dave removes his coat and throws it onto the bench)

It just says “Substitute Bus Service Operating”. Someone must be here, operating that bloody music.

Simone Music?

Dave On the tannoy. That racket that keeps coming out. They can’t even get that to work right.

Simone Dave, what are you going on about? Just sit down, will you?

Dave Oh, never mind. Sorry about the coffee. Now I can’t have it I’m really thirsty.

Simone It doesn’t matter about the coffee. Now will you sit down?

(Dave sits)

I kept an eye on your stuff.

Dave Thanks.

Simone I don’t think you understood. I’ll say it again. I watched over your things, Dave. While you were gone. It was a question of trust. I don’t even know you, yet I watched your kit and do you know what, Dave?

Dave What?

Simone In all the time you were out, I never once thought about looking through your belongings. That’s what trust means, Dave. But then you’re an honest guy, aren’t you? You told me that you are. And we can leave the good guys in charge of our things, can’t we? We know they’ll be safe, because that’s what the good guys do, isn’t it Dave? They look after our stuff. They don’t go rifling through it, like a petty criminal. Am I making any sense, Dave?

Dave No, actually –

Simone Shut up! Come on – you know what I’m talking about, don’t you? Don’t tell me if your mum found you with your hand in the cookie jar you’d still deny taking any? Do you like peeking at other people’s things? Does it give you a kick? Got any sisters, Dave? Would you sneak around their rooms? Go through their drawers? Is that what you do, Dave?

Dave No! You’ve got it all wrong. I just –

Simone Just what? Couldn’t help your self? Is there something you’d like to say to me, Dave? Anything you need to get off your chest?

Dave Look – I – I just took a look at some of your pictures. I was genuinely interested, that’s all. I didn’t mean to upset you – I wasn’t rifling through your things, honest.

Simone That word, again. I told you they weren’t for looking at, but that wasn’t enough for you was it? It wasn’t enough that you could just take me at my word. You had to step over the line. Take a bite from the apple. You’ve broken my trust. What are we to do now?

Dave Can’t we just put it behind us? Won’t you just accept my apology? Forget it happened? I only saw a couple of pictures. I won’t mention it again if you –

Simone It’s not as simple as that, is it? You’ve seen enough. We can’t just wipe the slate clean, can we? What possessed you? This is a situation now, Dave. I don’t think you realise how serious this is. For Christ’s sake, I didn’t go rooting through your suitcase when you went out. It’s a violation. Have you ever been burgled? Had a stranger go through your house? Ransacking everything? Do you know how that feels?

Dave No – that’s never happened to me, but I can imagine you’d feel pretty sick.

Simone That’s right. It’s a feeling you don’t shake. But it’s more than that. Once it’s happened, it changes things in a way that you can’t just forget about. You know it’s happened and it doesn’t just go away.

Dave Aren’t you overreacting just a bit? It’s hardly the same thing, is it? I looked at your pictures –

Simone You stole a peek –

Dave Glanced, barely a glimpse –

Simone You shouldn’t have –

Dave But I did – and let’s be frank – why am I the one on trial here? How are you turning this all on me? I saw enough – and something doesn’t stack up here – what the hell are they all about? Who are you? Sitting there all high and mighty – the only reason you’re so wound up is you’re worried that I’ll tell someone about them and from where I’m looking that’s your problem more than it is mine. How about you do some explaining now? Try convincing me why I should keep quiet? Do you know what would happen if the press got hold of them? There’d be a scandal – I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes. You’d be lynched.

Simone You don’t understand. You’re taking them out of context, for a start. You’ve made a judgement based on nothing. It’s your own subjectivity speaking here. You don’t have the facts. If I paw through your things will I know you, Dave? Come on – if we open up your suitcase will we know the man? Eh? Failed marriage, couldn’t keep hold of his kids – born loser? Got it all wrapped up in there, have you?

Dave Shut up! Don’t call me that again or I’ll –

Simone You’ll what? Go on – tell me –

Dave Let it go. Just leave it. This is ridiculous. You left that portfolio out for the whole world to see and now you start getting priggish about it – you want to start looking closer to home, lady, before throwing wild accusations around. I didn’t mean any harm by it.

(Dave puts his coat on. He pulls the suitcase and goes to leave)

Simone Now who’s being ridiculous? Look at it out there – it’s pouring down. You’ll be soaked. Just stay, for goodness sake. Sit back down.

(Dave stands at the door, looking out. He thinks twice about leaving)

Dave Alright. But you’ve got it all wrong you know.

Simone What have I got wrong?

Dave My life. This suitcase. It’s not how you said it. That’s not what’s in here. You don’t know me. Don’t make out you do. What do you know about me anyway? A few things I told you. I love my kids. I wish I hadn’t opened my big mouth now.

Simone I’m not judging you. I didn’t judge you. It’s not as if you’re the first, is it? Loads of fathers don’t live with their kids. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about them, does it?

Dave That’s right. I’d do anything for my kids. I love them to pieces. I’m not a loser.

Simone I didn’t mean what I said. It just came out. I got mad, that’s all.

Dave You must have thought it, to say it?

Simone I didn’t, really. I just lashed out. I know how to push buttons, that’s all. It’s not that difficult. We’re all just walking egos. I simply took your legs from under you, in a manner of speaking. It wasn’t personal. You’re right, of course. I don’t know you. Pay it no heed. After today we’ll probably never even see each other again.

Dave Fair enough.

(He paces)

Oh, this is stupid! How long does it take to get a bus to come out? What kind of service do they call this? For God’s sake. I’m going to call someone. Something needs to be done about this. I can’t believe there’s no one about. Who do you think I should call?

Simone I haven’t a clue! What good will it do? It won’t get a bus out any quicker will it? Not in this weather anyway. It’ll be flooding, further down the track, I imagine. You can’t really blame anyone for that, can you?

Dave Not really – but we shouldn’t have just been abandoned here either! Do you think they’ve forgotten us?

(Dave scans the notice board)

Simone What are you doing now?

Dave Looking to see if there’s a number. Someone I can call.

Simone Well? Is there?

Dave Not that I can see. There’s a Customer Service Charter. Full of the usual bullshit - “We have approachable and proactive Customer Service staff” – that’s taking the Mick, isn’t it? There’s nobody here! Hang on. Lost property. There’s a number for lost property. I can’t see anything else. Shall I ring them?

Simone What would they be able to do?

Dave I don’t know really. Put me in touch with someone who can help?

Simone Where are they? Their office could be anywhere. You do know that don’t you?

Dave They must have useful numbers to call. It’s worth a try. There’s bugger all else on this board. It’s well out of date. It doesn’t look like it’s been updated in ages. I’ll give them a call.

(Dave takes his mobile ‘phone from his pocket. He dials the number and puts the ‘phone to his ear).

For crying out loud!

Simone What now?

Dave No signal. Look! It was alright earlier. What about yours? Can I borrow your ‘phone.

(Simone takes her ‘phone out and checks it. She hands it to Dave).

Thanks.

(He dials and waits)

What? Number not recognised?

Simone Sure you dialled right?

Dave I think so.

Simone Try again.

Dave Okay. Nope. Same again. Not getting through on that number. Forget it.

(He hands the ‘phone back).

Simone What about directory enquiries? Give them a ring. Go on. Take it back. Try again.

Dave No, it’s alright. Like you said – probably won’t do any good anyway.

Simone It was worth a shot.

Dave It was a good idea. I’ve calmed down now. Can’t be bothered. Who would you call anyway?

Simone Probably not “Lost Property”.

Dave No. That was a bit stupid.

Simone (Laughing).

You could tell them some of their people are missing.

Dave Yes!

Simone That’s better!

Dave What is?

Simone Laughing about it. No point in getting stressed, is there?

Dave It does seem pointless. I’m going to miss my meeting at this rate anyway. There’s no way I’m going to make it in time, not now. Maybe I should call them?

Simone You’re welcome to use my ‘phone if you want. Is it an important meeting?

Dave Reasonably so. I think I will call them, if I may? I ought to touch base. Tell them it’s looking unlikely I’ll get there. They’ve got my PowerPoint file. They can run without me.

Simone Expendable, eh? Computers. They told me at school we’d have more leisure time when the computers take over. Another lie, don’t you think?

Dave That’s true. I work more hours now than I ever did before. I wouldn’t call it being expendable. It’s quite fortunate actually. It’s our policy to share files around – exactly for these reasons. My presentation can still be shown without me. What about you? Don’t you ever use digital? For your pictures?

Simone Sometimes. Occasionally. Not for all of them. Not for the more…sensitive ones.

Dave Why not?

Simone Because they’re not for showing. I already said.

Dave What difference does it make if they’re digital or not?

Simone Think about it. Click. Click. Send. It’s too easy.

Dave (Pause)

Clunk, click. Every trip.

Simone I beg your pardon?

Dave What you just said. Click, click. It reminds me of my childhood. Something they used to say, about seatbelts. Strapping in. Clunk, click, before your trip. Jimmy Savile - back in the seventies. You just reminded me.

Simone It doesn’t bear much resemblance.

Dave I know. I was being silly. It was one of those silly health and safety films. Like “Charlie Says”. Only, it wasn’t health and safety. Quite forward thinking for the time when you think about it, considering how preoccupied we are now with safety. Like that film with the couple watching the man at sea.

Simone Who was at sea?

Dave This man on a boat. He was tossing about at sea, out of his depth. This couple were on shore watching with their binoculars. He was waving and they were watching. Of course, he needed help but they were too dim witted to know it. It was a film for the Coastguard, or something. Don’t you remember?

Simone Can’t say I do. So what happened to the man?

Dave Drowned, I think. At least he would have had, if it were real.

Simone It wasn’t real?

Dave No, it was just a cartoon. They all were. Like “Charlie says, don’t go off with strangers”.

Simone Charlie?

Dave Charlie was a cat. I don’t know what the kid was called. Kid was a twat anyway. Always just about to go off with strangers until Charlie intervened. Got a kipper for his trouble.

Simone Who, the kid?

Dave No, Charlie did. Got a fish for being good.

Simone And what did you get for being good, Dave?

Dave Well, that’s just it, isn’t it? You never got anything for doing the right thing, did you? A clip around the ear if you didn’t. Sod all if you did. Mind you, I’m sure that’s a damn sight better than the alternative.

Simone What exactly was the alternative?

Dave God only knows. A fate worse than death, I should wonder. No one quite told you what the stranger would do, but we knew it wasn’t good. It didn’t matter how cute the puppies might look, or how tempting the sweets, we all knew that we shouldn’t accept lifts from strangers.

Simone Good advice, I’m sure. It got you this far, after all. Just how many lifts from strangers have you been offered, Dave?

Dave Well, there’s the thing. Do you know, I don’t think I’ve ever been offered any.

Simone Never mind! At least you knew what to do if you were!

Dave (Laughing)

You don’t think it was just another lie, do you?

Simone What? The grown ups lying to you? Come on, heaven forbid! If you were offered, you’d still know what to do, right?

Dave I’d not accept it -

Simone Oh, I thought you’d know to put your seatbelt on, that’s all, or else you’d get a good hiding!

Dave That’s about the size of it. Still, it never -

Simone Did you any harm. So you said.

Dave Well, it didn’t, did it? Just think, back then we could go off on our bikes. Go off for miles, anywhere we liked, during the school holidays. We’d tell our mums we were off, in the mornings. Me and my mates. We’d pack a bag, full of sandwiches. Peanut butter was my favourite. Peanut butter sarnies and a bottle of pop. No peanut allergies back then! Full of E numbers and off we’d trot off into the country. Not a care in the world - just had to be back in time for tea.

Simone And I expect the summers were longer, too?

Dave Well, they were, weren’t they? I’m not kidding! Didn’t they seem longer to you?

Simone No, you just spent more time out, back then. You just think they were longer.

Dave We’d go off for miles. Down the back roads and past the heath. We’d stop off, at the stream and swing on the rope someone had put up, on a tree. Swinging over the stream, daring each other to go out further and further. I remember one time. Hanging too low, on the swing. I held my legs out in front of me and smacked right into a boulder. Whacked my coccyx. I couldn’t move. I just sat there in the water. My mates laughed. They didn’t realise how much pain I was in. It knocked the wind right out of me.

Simone Not entirely without risks, then?

Dave No, but those were the types of knocks all kids suffer from growing up. Another time, we rode out further than we ever had before. A long way, and we came to a ford.

Simone A ford?

Dave Where the stream crosses the road. There was this footbridge.

Simone And?

Dave We took it in turns to ride through as fast as we possibly could. It was my turn. I took a run up, gathering speed. I was going at top speed. The water was only a few inches deep. I hit the water at a funny angle and my bike just went from under me. I went one way and the bike went another. We didn’t have helmets back then!

Simone What happened? Were you hurt?

Dave Luckily I wasn’t. But it scared me. I was soaked but it was a warm sunny day. We waited, just throwing stones in the water as I dried out. Then this family walked on by.

Simone A family?

Dave They must have walked miles. We were in the middle of nowhere.

Simone Unless they had just parked up nearby?

Dave Maybe. I hadn’t thought of it like that.

Simone What about them, anyway?

Dave Oh, nothing really. Just, there they were. Mum, dad. Grandma, I think, by the looks of the older woman. Then some kids. A girl - about sixteen, and a boy, a bit younger, I think. She had a cheesecloth blouse on and denim shorts. When they all got to the ford they started splashing each other. Soaking them. All laughing. No one minded getting wet. God - at one point, we even thought she - the girl - was going to take her blouse off. We nearly died!

Simone Perverts!

Dave It wasn’t like that. It was just schoolboy stuff. In our dreams, maybe. But I always remembered it. That day. Even when there was danger, it didn’t feel bad. Do you think many families go out walking with their kids now? Did you, ever?

Simone Not much. I always kept myself pretty much to myself.

Dave I wonder what happened to them. That family. I wonder what they’re all doing now. If they remember those days too? Where did you used to go as a kid then?

Simone I’d ride, too. But to this little cemetery. It was quiet. I’d read.

Dave That’s morbid, isn’t it?

Simone It was peaceful. I’d lie back listening to the birds. Watch the clouds. Blue skies. I liked it.

Dave Didn’t you have many friends?

Simone Sure I did. I just liked my own company too.

Dave I like mine as well. I’d like to go back.

Simone To the stream?

Dave No. To those days. When I was younger. Sometimes I wish I could take that kid to one side.

Simone Who, the girl?

Dave No, me! Sometimes I wish I could take me to one side and give myself some good advice.

Simone Advice? What would you say?

Dave I don’t know, really. Maybe tell myself to just enjoy these days. Make the most of them. One day, they’ll all be over. Keep hold of the memories, because at the end of it all, that’s all you’ll have. Memories.

Simone You’re being extremely maudlin, Dave. You make it sound like all the good days are over.

Dave I know that’s not true. Just, when you get older you’ve got to get on with the business of life. Back then it was just about living. Carefree, wasn’t it? None of the crap that adulthood brings. I never realised what my parents had to give up to give me all that. Now I have a better understanding I’ve got a greater respect for them. For it.

Simone That’s nice then, isn’t it? See, it’s not just about lies, is it? Sometimes it’s about protecting your kids from the truth. You don’t need to know everything, do you? Maybe there’s nothing you could tell that kid. Have you ever thought about that?

Dave I have. I think maybe I just want to put a hand on his shoulder. Tell him he’s alright.

Simone Even if you could, it wouldn’t work, would it?

Dave What do you mean?

Simone You’d have to run away from him, wouldn’t you?

Dave Run away?

Simone From the stranger!

(Pause)

Do you still want to make that telephone call?

Dave No. I’ll leave it for now.

(The speaker’s whine and pop. Christina Aguilera’s “Genie in a Bottle” plays for a few bars).

It’s ironic, in a way.

Simone What is?

Dave All this talk of safety and safety gear.

Simone Why’s that then?

Dave Because of what I ended up in.

Simone Safety?

Dave You asked me if this suitcase summed up my life. What if I opened this case? Would you know the real Dave?

Simone Well? Would we?

Dave It’s all in here. The sum total of Dave. All in this little case. Nothing too exciting really. Just my samples. “Evans’ Health and Safety Wear”. There’s me banging on about helmets and kneepads – guess what’s in here?

Simone Astound me. Helmets and kneepads?

Dave Nearly right! Safety-wear, for sure. Ear defenders, eye goggles, overalls. “Safety in the workplace is our business”. That’s where I was going. To launch our latest most exciting and innovative range of work wear. And you can have any logo of your choice, on the breast pocket. Pretty damn sexy, huh?

Simone Someone has to do it, I suppose. It’s all in there, is it?

Dave Just some of the range. We’ve just improved our fire retardant overalls with new lines and a new exciting catalogue. Funny how even the most boring things get called exciting when they’re trying to flog them.

Simone It’s all about marketing, isn’t it? They could hardly be honest about it, could they? Here’s our new range of “Functional Utilitarian Work Wear” doesn’t quite have a ring to it, does it?

Dave No!

Simone Do I get to see the real Dave then? Are you going to open the case and show me this exciting range of fashionable accessories for the workingman?

Dave You don’t want to see this, believe me!

Simone Go on – just humour me. Pretend I’m your client. “Schmooze” me.

Dave (He unclips the suitcase)

What do we have here then?

(Dave pulls out a cotton bag)

This is a con for a start. See this lovely cotton bag? That’s just for the samples. First thing you’ll get is a nice polythene bag, and don’t forget to keep it away from children and pets!

Simone Of course – not to mention suicidal insomniacs with a handful of pills! Carry on, sir!

Dave And out of this utility bag, I produce our most cutting-edge fire retardant overalls, madam! I present to you the Mark IV version of our “Flame Boy Overall”!

(Dave unfolds a set of bright orange flame retardant overalls)

Pretty, eh?

Simone Practical is the word I’d use.

Dave There aren’t many words for it, is there? They do try, down in marketing, to sex these things up. When it boils down to it, overalls are just overalls aren’t they? Well, there you have it – my life, in a bag.

Simone Put them on!

(Simone takes a photograph)

Go on – I could use some of these in a feature.

Dave What, these? Don’t be daft.

Simone Really. Go on - put them on. Don’t be shy. It’s what I do. The right picture - in the wrong place. You haven’t got anything to lose.

Dave Nothing to gain either. It’s silly.

Simone No, it isn’t. This is just the right setting. An empty waiting room. Put them on, Dave.

Dave You’re serious, aren’t you?

Simone Deadly. No one need know. Put them on.

Dave But – the pictures? You’ll have them?

Simone And no one will see them. Leastways, not your face. Are you going to put them on, or not?

(Dave hesitates, and then unfolds the overalls. He removes his jacket and shoes then slips the overalls on)

Dave How do you want me?

Simone That’s fine. Just as you are. Stand against the notice board. That’s it. Perfect.

(Simone shoots some pictures)

Dave I feel awkward. Are you sure this is okay?

Simone It’s great. You need to relax. You should be more trusting.

Dave It’s not like I even know you. It’s not everyday you get asked to sit for some photo’s by a complete stranger. Look, this is silly. It just doesn’t feel right.

Simone Just a few more. Put the cotton bag over your head. Then no one will know it’s you, will they?

Dave Oh come on! Like I’m going to do that!

Simone Five minutes, that’s all. It’ll make all the difference – give them a different context. You’ve seen my work. It will fit in my portfolio perfectly. Will you do it, Dave? Please?

(Dave picks up the cotton bag. He hesitates then slips it over his head. Simone pulls the drawstring a little tighter)

Simone That’s so perfect, Dave. Kneel down.

(Dave kneels)

Put your hands behind your back, just for a moment.

(Dave puts his hands behind his back. Simone takes some handcuffs from her handbag. Before Dave can react she puts the cuffs on him)

Dave What the hell are you doing? What are those? Are you a copper or something?

Simone If you want me to be – now SHUT UP!

(Dave tries to stand. Simone kicks him in the small of his back)

Just sit down. We haven’t finished yet.

(She shoots more pictures)

Dave This has gone far enough. I demand you undo me.

Simone When I’m done, Dave. You’ll be undone then.

Dave Why are you doing this? Is it money? Do you want my money? Take my money and let me go.

Simone Money? This isn’t about money. Now be quiet. Just shut up. Stay down. Don’t move.

Dave I – but – look –

(Simone kicks Dave again)

Simone I asked for silence. That’s good, Dave. Very good, indeed. I can see this working out just fine, if you stick to the ground rules. We can learn those together, as we go along, if you like. I have a question for you, just nod for yes. Do you understand?

(Dave nods)

Good boy! Dave – you’re not going to give me any trouble, are you?
(Dave shakes his head)
Thank you, Dave. I appreciate that, though you’re not really in a position to give me any trouble, are you? However, it is good to know that we have an understanding. We’re mutually dependent on each other. You must not worry. If you play by the rules I can assure you that you’ll be fine. We do seem to have a bit of a situation here, though, don’t we? Dave – you can talk to me, Dave.

Dave Yes – look, will you let me go now – this is nuts, just fucking crazy. Just stop it now, please?

Simone Oh, come Dave. It’s not real, any of this. You - you’re not really worried, are you? Really? I’m surprised at you. Hold that position –

(Simone takes more pictures)

That’s good. Really good, Dave. You’re a natural. Have you modelled before?

(Takes pictures)

Well, Dave? Have you? Dave, don’t go shy on me now. I felt I was just getting to know you – the real you – okay, don’t move a moment – nice! Can you turn this way? Towards me. Just a few more. Lean forward a bit. Dave! Play fair - come on. Ground rules, Dave.
(Simone moves to Dave and shoves him)

I need you to move, this way. That’s a rule from now on. Rule number one. You do as I say.

Dave Shove it. Get fucked.

(Simone digs her heel into Dave’s back and slowly pushes him forward until he is touching the floor.)

Simone That’s better – more like it. I’m not sure I liked your tone then, Dave. That wasn’t nice. Not nice at all. I need to be able to depend on you. I thought I could. I’ve a feeling about you. Instincts are good. I’m not usually wrong about people. I thought you were on my side. I need to know. Are you, Dave?

(Beat)

David?

(Beat)

Rule two, Dave. I need an answer. Are you with me, or against me?

(Beat)

I can’t hear you.

(Simone pulls Dave back to a kneeling position. She removes the chain that she had placed in her handbag earlier. She goes behind Dave and wraps the chain around his neck, tugging at it. Dave gags slightly. She repeats, and then releases the tension.)

You’re free to make a choice, Dave.

Dave (Whispers) With you.

Simone Thank you. That’s a relief. For a minute things were looking ugly. That’s not what I’m about; you must believe me, Dave.

Dave Water…

Simone Pardon?

Dave Can I have some water please?

Simone Yes, Dave. Of course you may. Though I don’t have anything to put it in. Hold on…

(She looks through the wastepaper basket by the bench and finds an empty water bottle)

You’re in luck. I need to do something first. Relax or else it will hurt you…

(Simone ties the chain off around Dave’s neck and then to the bench. She goes to the ladies toilet. The Tannoy plays David Gray’s Babylon for a few seconds . Simone returns with the bottle, now filled with water.)

I’m going to remove the hood, Dave. I need you to stay calm. Keep still.

(She removes the hood. She puts the bottle to Dave’s mouth. He drinks. Simone sits down, looking tired.)

I need a cigarette. You look like you could do with one too. Would you like that?

(She lights a cigarette. She moves across to Dave and holds the cigarette to his lips. He resists.)

Come on, Dave. Take it.

(Dave relents and takes the cigarette between his lips. He puffs on it. Simone strokes his head gently before taking the cigarette.)

You remind me of someone, you do, sitting there, quietly.

Dave My knees hurt. We can stop this. I need to stand…

(Simone goes to discard the cigarette in the wastepaper bin)

That’s not out! You’ll start a fire.

Simone You’re right. How thoughtful. Very safety conscious.

(Simone pours a drop of water on the cigarette and discards it)

Dave My knees – please help me up.

(Simone pulls Dave to his feet. He stares at her. She pushes him onto the bench)

Who were you thinking of?

Simone Someone I hadn’t thought of for a long time. I used to see her, every week. Every Tuesday, I’d drive past her, in a blur, hardly noticing her at first and she certainly didn’t see me.

Dave Who was she?

Simone She was an old lady, sat on her wall. Smoking a cigarette. Sat, staring into space.

Dave So what?

Simone It was that look. Like she had run out of time, waiting for it all to end. I never ever saw anyone with her –

Dave My arms are hurting –

Simone All alone –

Dave Did you hear me?

Simone No one came and no one went –

Dave Simone…

Simone So alone, like you. I wanted to talk to her. Ask her things about her life. She had to be more than just what I saw…

Dave Listen! Simone! These handcuffs are digging into me.

Simone That rhymed, didn’t it?

Dave The cuffs, Simone –

Simone You need to calm down, first. I need to know you won’t do anything silly.

Dave You bitch. You stupid, stupid bitch. Stop this madness now –

Simone Dave, you need to bite that tongue of yours. Curb it. That’s not a nice thing to say.

Dave What do you expect? This is so undeniably fucked up.

Simone I’ll let that go, this time. Remember the ground rules, though – rule three.

(Simone leans in close to Dave, studying his face)

Show respect.

(Pause)

You’ve got that look. The same one she had. It’s in your eyes. The eyes don’t lie. They never do. Tell a lie…be betrayed by an eye. Right now, I’m your best friend. You’re nice to your friends, aren’t you? Let me look at you.

(Simone blows gently across Dave’s face)

Dave Don’t do that.

Simone Why, don’t you like it? Is it not soothing?

Dave It hurts my eyes. Stop it.

Simone Don’t you like me this close to you? Does it disturb you?

Dave You make me uncomfortable.

Simone I’m the cool breeze on your face…a gentle wind…does it tickle?

Dave No, it’s pissing me off, actually.

Simone That’s no way to speak, is it Dave? I’m being nice here. You don’t treat people very well at all. You’re very adversarial, you know. You need to work on your people skills. Try being more forgiving, Dave. Give a little. I only wanted to make you feel nice.

Dave Like how? Like this? I’ve got my hands tied behind my back, you’re completely mental and this is supposed to be enjoyable? What would be nice is if you stop this charade right now. Do it now - before someone comes along. If you do I won’t say anything, okay? I promise – but this has gone far enough. You’ve had your joke. Now end it.

(Simone puts a finger to Dave’s lips, to silence him)

Simone Hush little baby
Don’t say a word
Mama’s going to buy you
A mocking bird…


It’s no joke. Are you laughing?

And if that mocking bird won’t sing
Mama’s going to buy you
A diamond ring

By the way, who do you think is coming? It’s a quaint idea, but there’s no one coming for you, Dave. I’m all you’ve got. To think, little old me. You and me here, together. Where’s the cavalry? You know what I think? I think they’ve forgotten you. I don’t think anyone is coming for you – do you think that? Honestly?

Dave Any minute now someone’s going to come in here –

Simone If that diamond ring turns brass
Mama’s going to buy you
A looking glass


You’re all alone here. Don’t you know that now? You’re abandoned. Entrusted to my care. In loco Parentis. I’m doing alright so far aren’t I? Keeping you safe? That’s the main thing isn’t it?

And if that looking glass gets broke
Mama’s going to buy you a Billy goat…


My, haven’t you looked in the mirror lately? You’re beginning to look a little rough around the edges. Quite dishevelled. Where’s your pride? You need to smarten yourself up. Keep up with appearances.

Dave Who for? You said we’re alone, so why the fuck bother? For you?

Simone For yourself.

Dave I do fine as it is. Bitch.

Simone There you go again. Not good. Bad. This is quite simple. I can reward good behaviour as easily as I can punish the bad. “Disrespect” falls under bad behaviour. I have a feeling you know this already. You’re an intelligent man, aren’t you?

Dave Actually, I don’t think I give a shit anymore. Good, bad – indifferent – I really don’t care. In fact –

(Dave spits at Simone)

That’s how much I care!

(Simone wipes her face with a tissue from her handbag, which she carefully folds and puts away).

Simone Big mistake, Dave. Big fucking mistake. At least your blood’s up. Passion. That’s good. Fervent fever. Believing in something – all good.

(Simone takes photographs of Dave)

Makes for an interesting subject. Better than the Mr. Semi-suburban of before. Go on – give the camera some more, Dave – ha! Brilliant! More! Pull that face again – look mad – come on, you want to get even, right? Yeah, that’s the one. That’s good. Pull on that chain – look vicious.

Dave Stop! Stop! I won’t play your silly games! You want mad? You got it, right! Let me go and I’ll give you bloody mad. I’ll chew your fucking tongue out. Punch your lights out…you want it, you can fucking have it -

Simone Gracious! Quite the transformation. Who’d have thought you had it in you? From mild mannered Dave to natural born killer - quite the big man, eh? Give a man the right incentive – it’s like a dog with a bone. He can’t let go.

Dave If you got what you came for, then fine, you’ve had it, right? Just fucking untie me now, just fucking do it –

Simone Easy tiger – temper, temper…

Dave Listen to me – enough now.

Simone You need to calm down. Right now you’re too wild. Le sauvage. Just take it down a bit; and then we can discuss terms.

Dave Terms?

Simone Uh-huh. How best we can extract from this situation. We need to be clear on that.

Dave How about I call the police and have you carted off, for terms?

Simone That’s simply not going to happen.

Dave It’s not, is it? I admire your confidence. I’m confident they’ll lock you up and throw away the key.

Simone I wouldn’t say you’re exactly in a position to make that assumption. I have the key, after all. Shall I flush it away? You’re looking uncomfortable again!

Dave There’s a reason. I need to pee.

Simone Why didn’t you say! I’m not unreasonable you know - far from it.

Dave You’ll let me go then? Let me pee? Do that – I’ll pee. You can go then. I don’t need to see you go. I won’t call the police – just end this. Give me the photos and it’s over. Please?

Simone I like it. A plan. That’s good. Cognitive thinking. I’ve a different plan though. Do you want to hear it? Maybe? I’ll tell you anyway. This is how it’s going to play out. First of all, you owe me.

(Simone wipes her hand across her face).

That deserves punishment. I’d expect less from an animal. If you want to behave like a beast, I’ll treat you like a beast. You need to sit up and beg like a dog. Do a good enough job – convince me – and I’ll take you to pee. Don’t, and you can sit there in disgrace.

(Simone puts the cotton bag over Dave’s head and loosens the chain from the bench, pulling it around Dave’s neck).

Beg. Bark. Bark like a dog.

(She tightens the chain again)

Get down - on your knees. Bark!

(Dave falls to his knees. He hesitates. Simone pulls the chain again).

Dave Woof. Woof.

Simone Good. Now more. Bark more! Get on all fours.

(Dave gets on all fours. Simone begins to walk Dave towards the Gents, stopping at her handbag. She removes a small specimen bottle from it.)

I’m taking out some insurance. Keep barking.

Dave (Feebly) Woof, woof!

Simone That’s quite feeble, Dave. Can’t you put a bit more feeling into it? Think more “vicious”. Snarl. Show your teeth, as it were. Try it again.

(Simone tugs at the chain).

Dave Please...the toilet...

Simone Anything you like, Dave. Just play the game. Give it up now and you can have anything you want. You’re resisting. I’m sensing it. I’m not feeling you at all. Give me Fido. Be a good boy, now.

Dave (Slowly and deliberately) Fuck...you...

(Dave urinates himself. It takes Simone a moment or two to realise)

Simone That’s disgusting. You filthy pig. You disgust me. Oh, the smell! It’s rancid.

(Simone lets go of the chain. Dave collapses to the floor)

You animal! Laying there in your own piss! Why would you do that? Haven’t you got any pride? Aren’t you ashamed?

(Dave does not respond. Simone prods him with her foot a few times. Dave moves slightly, barely responding).

Come on, now. (Gently) Get up...look, you need to get out of these wet things at least. You’ll get a rash - it can’t be comfortable for you.

Dave Go away...just leave it. You win, okay? Just go –

Simone You have to get up off that floor. Get out of these things. Come on, now. Sit up at least.

(Simone lifts the chain, but she is gentle. Dave responds, slowly rising to a kneeling position).

It’ll be easier if you’re standing. Will you stand up for me, Dave?

(Dave struggles to a standing position. He wobbles slightly. Simone stands in front of him and begins to undo his overalls from the front. She kneels in front of him).

There’s just one thing left to do – one more little thing. Then that’s it. All over. I promise.

(Simone masturbates Dave. Slowly at first; Dave is unresponsive. The theme music to Barney the Purple Dinosaur plays from the speakers. Simone says nothing throughout the act, building pace until she senses Dave responding. She reaches for the sample bottle, which she holds in front of Dave. She collects the sample and secures the bottle.)

There – that wasn’t so bad, was it? Follow me and you can clean up in the toilet – it’s over.

(Simone pushes Dave gently towards the Gents toilet, collecting her handbag on the way)

I will take those cuffs off inside. You can clean yourself up.

(They both exit through the Gents door. Nothing happens on stage. There is no sound. After a while Dave emerges in his suit, highly distressed. He has blood on his knuckles. He puts his coat on and grabs his suitcase. He grabs the camera which he stuffs into the suitcase and takes the portfolio. He exits. Simone enters. She is wearing the orange overall and hood. Her hands are cuffed in front of her. She clutches her handbag. She removes the hood. Her face is bloody and bruised. She staggers to the bench. She sits. She takes the sample bottle out and pours the contents onto her front. She takes out her ‘phone, and dials).

(Pause) Hel...Hello? Police – I need the police. (Pause) Police? Hello? (Crying) I need you to come quickly...I’ve been...

Blackout